One Year Ago Today, A Reflection of Life

I officially obtained my one year "post liver treatment" lab results early this morning, marking my official one year anniversary of ending treatment on Sovaldi and Ribavirin. I ended treatment on July 7th, 2014. After one year of completing the toxic regimen, the virus remains "Undetected," which means the my Hepatitis C is 100% medically, officially and without question gone for good.

It's a little overwhelming to know that I don't have to face one of my dreaded fears of liver transplant, ESLD (end stage liver disease) or cirrhosis. I always projected my life going downhill in my late 30's based on how many years I actually had Hepatitis C and the estimated pattern of how the virus was attacking my liver, which was pretty regular. But now, God has gave me a new sense of normal, I'm cured. I don't take this cure for granted, and I walk each day with a new fresh perspective, and certainly with a sense of humility for the extended years added.

I remember a deep conversation I had with my wife before we exchanged vows, and in that late night discussion, I told Alexandra some things she should be prepared for concerning my health, age and overall well being. I recall that night being tearful, sorrowful and painful. But true love conquers all barriers that life hurls at us. Thankfully, she stuck with me, and now, the cure has happened. All those dark disturbing things we talked about won't happen the way I envisioned my life to progress. Even though it was my job to inform Alexandra the consequences, she loved me regardless, despite the difficulties and trying times, that's the power of "real love."

Quotes from Joseph Burke

When I first met my wife in 2008, my mind was so fixated on the "what if's" and the "could be's" instead of what God can truly do with a little patience. That was the life lesson I was taught by the Big Man upstairs, patience and forbearance. I treated once in 2006 for 24 weeks on Ribavirin and Interferon injections, to ultimately relapse 3 weeks after treatment ended. I had very little expectation going into this new treatment on Sovaldi, but despite my fears, it worked! No more fixations and daydreaming about my life spiraling out of control as my liver fails. It's pretty overwhelming, even as I write this, as the tears of rejoicing just flow.

I recall my wife telling me often, that she was praying for my cure. She frequently reminded me in church and home that her one main prayer was for the cure to happen. Above all else, she wanted her husband around, and the moment that prayer was answered, and God showed up, was mind blowing.

I'm fortunate, lucky and persevered through the trying times that us hemophiliacs faced in the 1980's and 1990's. It wasn't easy being a bleeder with HIV and Hepatitis C in those days. The stereotypes imprinted from the negative press are still very relevant today, but it's my job through this blog and "I Strive 2 Thrive" to educate the masses, and offer hope to those who suffer with my illnesses. It's enough to have hemophilia alone, but combine HIV, chronic pain and my now my cure of Hepatitis C, I've become empowered to educate those who still have those uneducated beliefs about any of the illnesses I endure daily.

This win may be of science, and the pharmaceutical company Gilead for manufacturing Sovaldi, but the real win here is one for God. He allowed me endure just a little longer, become married, and through that I learned patience and a deeper understanding of who I am, and whose I am. I count my blessings daily, and don't take each breath for granted. This cure has empowered me to help and enrich others lives, and do it with love that only comes from God. Today marks two anniversaries in my life, my parent's 37th wedding anniversary and the one year anniversary of my cure. Funny how God does that right, almost like a wink and pat on the back as I'm reminded how truly awesome He is.

30 years, 9 months, 17 days

Hard to believe when looking back, but 30 years, 9 months, and 17 days ago I was diagnosed as having HIV. It wasn't until years later in 1988 that I found out I had Hepatitis Non-A, Non-B, which at the time there were no conclusive tests or discovery of Hepatitis C.

It wasn't until roughly 1992, blood tests were available for patients to confirm Hepatitis C. It all goes back to November, 14th 1983, when my mother got a letter in the mail no parent should be expected to receive [click the letter to the right to read].

According to my mother's account, she was instructed to check the LOT numbers on my Factor VIII concentrates to the numbers they provided to be contaminated batches riddled with HIV and various forms of Hepatitis. Sure enough, the numbers matched, and so began my 30 year journey into co-infection living with HIV and Hepatitis C.

Using www.timeanddate.com, I was able to determine something pretty astonishing; I've been living with co-infection for over 30 years. But, something this past Winter happened on February 11th, 2014 that changed my life forever. I started a new drug treatment on Sovaldi and Ribavirin, and within just 4 short weeks, my Hepatitis C was gone. When I say gone, I'm referring to "Undetected" Status. Clinical protocols require a Sustained Virologic Response [SVR] of 6 months post treatment to be 100% certain; which means if the virus remains undetected 6 months after treatment, it is in fact a cure.

The picture is of me and my father in Winter 1983, and as you can tell from my pajamas, E.T. was a huge hit the summer before. I was roughly 4 years old in this picture, and based on the date of the Hemophilia LOT numbers being contaminated, I was just 3 years old when I become co-infected. It's strange saying I've lived with two deadly viral illnesses for over 30 years of my life. This November I'll 35 years old, and hopefully, by God's grace, I'll still be Hepatitis C free and thrive to see 35 more years in 2049. I'm certain within this decade we'll see huge leaps forward in treatment and cures for HIV/AIDS once and for all. It's been a long time coming.

Funny feeling it is... seeing loved ones and friends pass away, living through the crisis of the 80's of the AIDS epidemic to this point today. I can only believe and know for certain I'm here for one reason, to be a witness of the miraculous hand of a True and Living God.

I don't have to search the world over 100 times for mysterious signs and wonders of miracles... the fact is, I already am one. I say that with boldness and confidence, not with pride. My family has endured enough trauma and heartache from this wretched disease Hemophilia. But if I'm the one to survive, then I'll be the one to testify of how awesome my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ truly is. Think about it, how many people do you know that has survived 30 years, 9 months, 17 days with Hemophilia, HIV and Hepatitis C whom are alive to share their story? Not many...

Day 159, To My Wife

There are times in life when many aspects of our lives are tried by fire to withstand the test of time. Our bodies may be put "through the ringer" physically and our minds can be pushed to their limits of break. But it's in these trials, we find true strength of the inner spirit, unconditional love from God the Father, and true love in every sense from those closest to us. I realize this story may not/will not apply to everyone that reads this post, as we've all come from many differing backgrounds and roads of life. I am thankful most for Jesus Christ and His unconditional love, and thankful for a loving wife who has endured so much with me over the past few years with love, compassion and kindness.

As I approach the end of my treatment with just 8 days remaining, I reflect on the true face of love in the eyes of my beloved wife. Not only has she seen my best moments, but has been there with me each step of the way to wrap her arms around me at my worst. While being on liver treatment, I've endured a plethora of harsh side effects, ER visits and long days lying on the couch in pain. From her hands of compassion, she's helped me back each time to regain my strength and physicality again. She does come from a nursing background and is a Registered Nurse here in Central Florida, just an extra blessing and nod from the Big Man upstairs; I must've done something right. Even beyond these past 6 months and coping with my vast array of hemophilia related injuries and disease related episodes, she's even helped administer my own factor VIII product intravenously on multiple occasions. From her eyes, from her hands and from her heart, she radiates unconditional love and joy, a true genuine side of who she is as a woman. A real companion is one that will face adversity head on without question and prepare for the next mountain to climb. A rarity this day and age, true love does and will stand the test of time, even beyond the grave.

I come from an "old school" mentality where we give those we love praise while they're here, not when they're gone. My father once preached in church, "Give them roses while they're alive, not when they're dead." Having almost completed Sovaldi and Ribavirin liver treatment, the past 6 months have been flooded with attacks on my mind and body. One thing has remained constant at the center of these storms, God's Grace and my wife's unconditional dedication. The past 6 months especially have been very trying on us, and my fits of riba-rage, mood swings, brain fog, lost in space and blah attitude I'm sure have not been easy for her. We've had clashing moments, and we quickly realized it wasn't me, but the medication talking. Like I said, she's truly seen my best and worst of times.

As I face the next chapter of my life, having slayed my dragon, and in just 8 short days am done with my treatment, I've been given a second chance at life not to become selfish but to give all that I am to God, my wife, my church and friends. This is a letter of new beginnings, of a fresh start on something that is already fantastic. God has given me a new life, both spiritually and physically, and I plan to do amazing things for His glory. I honor my wife today, the true rock in my house, the companion who needs to be recognized for the angel she truly is. True love is rare, and once found, will shake us to our core as a man or woman; if we even find it. Such is the same for my wife and how I feel about her. God gave me her blessing of love to not only take care of me, but remind me I'm worthy enough to achieve my dream despite limitations. This morning in church, we clasped hands and in our moment of worship stopped to embrace and thank God for our love and marriage. It's a humbling feeling to have found your soul mate, it's even a greater feeling knowing you will spend eternity with her one day. It says in Mark 10:9 "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." Thanks Alexandra for being there, like I know you will be, forever and always.

Day 93, Feeling Better!

Just an update on my condition. My sinuses are almost completely cleared thanks to the antibiotics, my eyes are healing up day by day. I'm feeling a lot better, no more chills, fevers, aches, cramps, shakes, headaches etc... The worst is over, now to get on with life. Thanks to everyone who over the past week has sent up prayers for both me and Alex. Words can't express our gratitude, love and humility for our fellow brothers/sisters/friends. We love each of you so much, and are thankful to have you along this journey with us of healing, restoration and replenishing. Too Blessed to be Stressed!

Here is a great video talking about the new drug I'm on to cure my Hepatitis-C, check this out. Pretty amazing I'm on this drug and on the road to a permanent cure. I love seeing editorials like these despite the enormous cost of the therapy.

Day 64, Morning Sickness

I realize the title is a bit misleading, but it actually is bearing true for me today. I woke up this morning with a very unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I haven't eaten a lot today because of this queasy feeling. My alarm went off this morning like it always does to remind me to take my morning dose of Ribavirin. But this morning was a little different. I awoke to a unsettling feeling, and waves of nausea. It was the Ribavirin wreaking havoc again on my stomach. The hardest part about this morning was the fact I knew I had to drink water, and eat something small so I wouldn't become even more sickened from taking Ribavirin on an empty stomach having just woke up. It was literally all I could this morning to eat a granola bar. Every bite was gut wrenching, as waves of nausea hit me. I'd chew small bites, then stop for a couple minutes. Take another small bite, then stop. Finally I got through the whole bar, and my morning dose was down the hatch. 

The hard part, just two hours later, I had to eat lunch so I could take my other antiviral medications, two of which require some sort of substance to help with proper pill absorption. Knowing what I was up against, I bit the bullet and ended up taking a Zofran tablet to combat my waves of stomach sickness. It helped... some. Even the smell of food makes my stomach turn upside down... Icky feeling indeed.

Lunch today was light, and no pun intended on word play, but a bit hard to swallow. But, knowing I had no choice and I had to literally force myself to eat (which I didn't feel like doing), I did it anyway. When you're up against a wall, and you know you have to take something to save your life, at the end of the day it becomes mind over matter, in this case will power over bodily nausea. Is it easy? I wish... Nothing in life is easy, but surviving and thriving to me is worth fighting for. There is a reason why I'm on liver treatment, there is a season why I am suffering, and a purpose to which I must be refined and endure. I may not understand the scope of the situation now in the present, but one day, I can glimpse back and reflect on this time in my life when I fought dragons, and won! Even tonight as I write this, just an hour after taking my last nightly dose of Ribavirin, I'm still somewhat unsettled in the gut. My face is also a little flush. I may have to take another anti-nausea tablet to help with overnight. I was reading tonight in James 5:16 (NIV), "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." Continue to pray for me, and I will do the same in return, and remember, every day / every pill / every dose.

Day 59, 2 Months Complete

Yesterday I started Sovaldi bottle #3 which means I just finished two full months of therapy. It's mind boggling to think that in my mind, it seems as if I just began liver treatment only a few days ago, but that's how life and being busy goes. Before I know it, therapy will have ended, and I can simply move forward from this phase of my life with a breath of fresh air and new light. Still no side effects, and nothing new to report. But I'm going to take this chance to give some Praise to my Boss upstairs.

I was thinking the other day about our lives, and how we all get caught up in the rhetoric of life; the unending cycle of events, obligations, appointments and commitments. I was listening to a song from the new Casting Crowns album called Thrive, and truly we were made for so much more than just ordinary lives, we were made in God's image, an image to Thrive. This song kind of goes perfectly along with my "I Strive to Thrive" aspect of life these days, that we're meant to do so much more. Proverbs 11:28 says, "Those who trust in their riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf." This challenges me, invigorates me to do more, impact more and let God do more through my life and hands. With this liver treatment, not only with second chances be given, but a chance for my roots, tree and body to thrive in Christ. Trust me, not a day goes by that I don't reflect upon my own healing, and give account to truly where the miracle came from. Doctor's and scientists may have invented the drug, but God gave them the wisdom to change lives, and in a way the seeds were planted of knowledge, and they came along and water the ground and the drug Sovaldi came to be. Today, make it your primary focus to thank God for all He's done for you, whether it be healing, marriage or finances. Even more, Praise Him for the trials you're going through, because it's those trials that will mold you to be the child of God you were destined to be. We all have to be refined by the fire of life before we can truly begin to shine like a diamond for God and this world.